Positivt tänkande med support – det är bra!

I’m a 34-year-old corporate attorney in San Francisco. I started my own practice about a year and a half ago–a tremendous leap of faith for me, in part because of speech issues I’ve dealt with since I first started to talk. In the beginning I used all kinds of tricks to try to be fluent in situations where I’d stutter, especially on the phone, but I’m proud to say that I never think about speech issues anymore in my work. I actually truly enjoy talking on the phone for work now–it’s more fun than meticulously revising legal documents!

Public speaking has also become a joy. Last week I gave an impromptu, surprise talk to a roomful of applicants to my law school (the organizer called on me to stand up, introduce myself, and talk, with no prior warning), had no speech problems, and several applicants came up to me afterwards to ask me more about what I’d said. I’m going to be leading a multi-hour workshop in a couple weeks for the management teams of between 10 to 30 potential corporate clients, and I’m excited at the opportunity to meet them, help them with their legal issues, and hopefully sign up some of them as clients.

It sounds like you’re well on your way on the path to fluency. Keep pushing yourself beyond your comfort boundaries, even if there are temporary setbacks–over time, fluency will become something you forget to worry about. And don’t sell yourself short–you should be practicing law and giving clients the benefit of your knowledge and experience, not hiding as a paralegal!!

Let me know if you have any questions or want to chat on the phone or over Skype. I’m happy to see another attorney on the same path that I’ve taken.
Jared

Hur gör jag för att komma åt en traumatiserande händelse?

Ahsen,
With these words: “With my mother I watched my words, fearing of disappointing because she was the first to reproach my stuttering,” you no doubt have hit the target right on the bull’s eye as to why you stutter in front of your mother.

And, with these words, “she has never criticized my stuttering. Instead , she made ​​me compliments about my physique,” you have hit the bull’s eye on the target for why you do not stutter in front of your sister”.

(Now, since you have spoken of your beautiful physique, you will need to insert it in an email so we all can see it.) 🙂

So, you have two parts of you that are at odds with each other:

1.Part that fears stuttering in front of your mother

2.Part that is fluent in front of your sister and desires to be fluent with your mother

These two parts are literally fighting against each other to “win”.

Fear of stuttering in front of mother (low self-esteeming) ß—————-àSpeaking fluent in front of sister (high self-esteeming)

These two parts fighting against each other literally “freezes” the mind leading to blocking. It is like driving down the road at 100 mph with your breaks on.

What would happen if you layered the high self-esteeming mental state with your sister on top of and through the low self-esteeming part of speaking with mother? This is a merging of those pictures and/or those feelings together. Which state would win?

How old were you when your mother first criticized you about stuttering?

Get a visual image of the younger you, the boy, that was overwhelmed with hurt when mother criticized him for stuttering.

Now, once you have that image and you can see the younger you, ask yourself, “What does that younger me need?” Once you have an answer, image the adult you going to that younger you providing him with what he needs.

If needed, you can image your mother giving that younger you what he needs. For, surely, your mother did not mean for you to become a stutterer – she meant the opposite. It was just that younger you, that boy, did not have the mental resources that he needed at that time to proper interpret mother’s intention. Forgive your mother; forgive yourself for misinterpreting and let your mother, mother that younger you.

Experiment with the above and let us know what happens.

Note: Give yourself a week of practicing this. And, “only” practice this when you are by yourself. Do not practice it when in front of family and friends. Doing so will most likely increase your stuttering because you mind will be on stuttering and that will cause you to stutter. Experiment with this as well. Use what works for you and discard the rest.

Good luck.

Bob
(klipp från neurosemanticsofstuttering@yahoogroups.com)

Stamningsepisoder eller blockeringar av talet

”…What you want to find out is the “meaning” you place on speaking with family and friends.
1. Ask yourself, “Luis, when you are around strangers, you are fluent; however, when you are around family and friends you stutter. What is the difference in meaning that you give to these two different situations?
And/or:
2. “What ‘meaning’ do I place on my family and friends that creates anxiety and fear in me that I do not have when speaking with a stranger?”
3. “How old do I feel when I am around family and friends and I am stuttering?”

Go inside and ask yourself these questions. It would be great if you have your wife ask you these questions so that you can focus on going inside and analyze what is going on inside your mind-body that is triggering your speech strategy for stuttering?

Let us know what answers you come up with.
Thanks
Bob”
(klipp från neurosematicofstuttering)
+++++++++++++++++++++++++
Bobby G. Bodenhamer, D.Min.
1516 Cecelia Dr.
Gastonia, NC 28054
704.864.3585 – Business
704.864.1545 – Fax
bobbybodenhamer@yahoo.com
http://www.renewingyourmind.com
http://www.masteringstuttering.com
http://www.neurosemantics.com
++++++++++++++++++++++++

Han säger att alla kan bli professionella talare!

Hi All,
Further to my earlier post, I’ve since come across the following YouTube extract in which Ed Tate discusses his childhood stuttering:

I did, in fact, chat with him (in private) about my own experiences at the conclusion of the public speaking workshop in the UK yesterday.
Kindest regards
Alan

Så bra kan jag vara mot mitt barn som stammar!

That’s one of the best pieces of advice for parents that I’ve ever read, Anna.
Just brilliant.
John

Sharif,
> I have three kids and all of them had some disfluences which were noticeable enough to make my mother alarmed. Two daughters grew up without stuttering. My son is 5 now, but i think he is not in any danger now.
I am not qualified to give you a professional advice.

But my personal beliefs are
1) Refrain from any comments on a child’s language. If a child mispronounces
a word, simply start using this word more and speak it slower and more clear but without making it obvious. If a child speeds up and is difficult to understand – first pace the speed (speak in the same speed) then slowly slow your speech down a bit. If a child is disrespectful, says dirty words – don’t react emotionally but use different time to have a talk about bad words. Etc. The goal is to avoid creating language anxiety and worries about speech. 2) Listen very carefully, pay attention, be genuine. Trying to get an adult attention is very stressful for sensitive children. If they worry you won’t listen, they may get nervous and whatever difficulties they have, may get aggravated. 3) Make it ok for you to have a child who stutters. Be certain that with your support and knowledge her experience with stuttering will be very different from yours. 80% of kids recover by the time they start school. Kids are very sensitive to body language and emotional energy. If you get nervous every time she blocks, she will sense it. If your heart breaks every time she blocks, she will sense it.

When my son had disfluences around age 3.5-4 I followed those steps and made
it ok for me if he stutters. I knew that stuttering or not we will help him to
grow happy and confident. Now his speech is not different from other kids his
age. He stumbles when he is excited, but so do other kids as far as I can hear.
So it is not an expert advice, but may be you will find something for you in my
experience.
> Anna

När stamningen minskar och försvinner

”…I’m with John, let’s sto p putting the focus on studying PWS; and let’s put the focus on Ruth, John, Alan, Linda, David, etc. and discover “how” they were able to defeat stuttering in their lives. That is what NLP and NS are all about – modeling behavior the good and the bad. We ask, “How are you doing that? What are you doing in your mind in order to do that? Do you always do that? If not, than how do you explain that? Etc….”
(Bob Bodenhamer)